Giving Names to All The Animals

Giving Names to All The Animals

I’ve often thought about the eternal round: of patterns, of cycles, of time and space, of existence as we know it. Like a snake swallowing its tail. Pain kisses the sole of pleasure. Hate and love are the same animal. I’ve built philosophical arguments in...
The Price of Understanding Death

The Price of Understanding Death

“White Tantric Yoga is an ancient group meditative practice that works on clearing out the deepest corridors of the subconscious mind.” –3HO I found myself, for the third time in my life, cloaked in white, sitting shoulder to shoulder with other people in white who...
Darkened by the Divine

Darkened by the Divine

I’m back to treating the open wound on my thigh—the final vestige of unhealed skin. Certainly, there remain unhealed parts under the surface. Scar tissue, swelling, pinching. Deep in my left butt cheek is an abiding pain that I suppose is my sciatic nerve but it’s a...
7 Meditations = 7 Years Worth of Growth

7 Meditations = 7 Years Worth of Growth

1. [The day before white tantric: one 62-minute meditation] SA-TA-NA-MA over and over again for 62 minutes. The chant hijacks my voice about halfway in. My mouth goes on chanting, sounding it out, without my conscious participation. I lift up through the sound to...
The Weight (Wait) of Being This Woman

The Weight (Wait) of Being This Woman

When I was a kid, I remember coming downstairs for breakfast more than one morning to find only crumbs left in the cereal box. Being the youngest of 5, I was often the last in line for distribution of resources. What I didn’t realize was the depth and density with...
Change Makes Cents

Change Makes Cents

I had a dream once about having my house broken into. In waking life, I had just been dumped and was broken hearted. The dream happened while I was away on a spiritual retreat and nursing my pain. In it, I came home and heard the rustle of an intruder in my bedroom. I...