7 Meditations = 7 Years Worth of Growth

7 Meditations = 7 Years Worth of Growth

1. [The day before white tantric: one 62-minute meditation] SA-TA-NA-MA over and over again for 62 minutes. The chant hijacks my voice about halfway in. My mouth goes on chanting, sounding it out, without my conscious participation. I lift up through the sound to...
The Weight (Wait) of Being This Woman

The Weight (Wait) of Being This Woman

When I was a kid, I remember coming downstairs for breakfast more than one morning to find only crumbs left in the cereal box. Being the youngest of 5, I was often the last in line for distribution of resources. What I didn’t realize was the depth and density with...
Change Makes Cents

Change Makes Cents

I had a dream once about having my house broken into. In waking life, I had just been dumped and was broken hearted. The dream happened while I was away on a spiritual retreat and nursing my pain. In it, I came home and heard the rustle of an intruder in my bedroom. I...
Pregnancy Killed My Creativity

Pregnancy Killed My Creativity

I had fantasies about how hugely creative I would be while pregnant — my body’s creation of a new person would ignite unprecedented levels of inspired creativity for my brain. I never expected how appallingly far off that was. My brain had never before...
21 Ways Writing is Like Menstruating

21 Ways Writing is Like Menstruating

1. It’s never neat and tidy. It doesn’t feel comfortable in clothes. While it hurts, it doesn’t hurt in the typical way but is heavy and low and pulling, like roots — not pleasant but real and necessary and satisfying. 2. It doesn’t ask...